Chapter 3 – The Move

The Following Morning

West Austin, Texas.  An Upscale Neighborhood of some sort

Edward Cullen POV

The bags under her eyes were the only clue that Bella Swan, aka my soon to be fake wife, had a sleepless night.  I couldn’t help but notice them as I approached her at the customer service desk the next morning, where she was waiting for me.  Other than that, though, she looked just as put together as when I’d left her.

She yawned and I felt a little bad for planting that seed about the hotel being haunted.  She had probably been pretty spooked by something to look so… tired.

Maybe I’d taken the teasing a little too far…  I mean, I really shouldn’t have let her get to me like she did… Maybe I should apologize, I thought… but then, suddenly, not so much.

“Tell me something Edward, do you have zero concept of keeping a schedule or you always just show up whenever you feel like it?”

Apology idea... shredded.

“Jesus,” I scowled a little, trying to look worried.  “You…  really look like shit, you sleep okay?”

The middle finger looked pretty good on her, I had to admit, but still… I held a hand up. “No thanks, I haven’t had coffee yet.”

I was lying of course, by the way.  She didn’t look like shit.  Unfortunately.  Not in the snug fitting khaki pants that showed off her hips quite nicely and the button down top that was attempting to show off the sex appeal hidden somewhere deep inside her cleavage… and don’t even get me started on the loafers.

That’s right, I said loafers.   No six inch heels, this day.  Not for stay at home Sally.   Nooooo, she was appearing to be very… suburbanish.

Suburburanite-ish?

Suburbanian?

Point is, she looked pretty sexy if I was being honest.  I mean, you know, in a very piss ass attitude, would probably kick my ass if I even insinuated she was sexy and I wouldn’t give the satisfaction of telling her anyway, kinda way.

I scowled at where my own thought process had taken me.

Holy hell… I must have been tired too.  I shook it off.

The clerk addressed me and held an envelope out for us that looked bulky and I snatched it just as Bella reached out, rewarding me with one of her lovely as sin huffs and an eye roll extraordinaire.  I smiled and nodded for her to follow me to a more private area of the lobby.

My actions were two-fold.  One, we needed be out of ear shot when we read it and two, it annoyed the hell out of my side kick.

“You’re like a thirty something year old child, you know that?”

I held a hand up to her. “Uh, uh uh, Beatrice.”

She wasn’t ruining my regal moment, even with the completely scary scowl she was sporting at the moment. “It’s…”

“Dear Isabella and Edward, please accept these as inspiration to play your parts a little more enthusiastically throughout your stay in Austin...”

Blah.

Blah.

Blah dee blah…

I eyed the two very different sets of car keys I held, a solitary eyebrow lifting as I recognized the logo on one of them.

“I call the Hummer,” I announced, waggling my eyebrows at her.  Then I tossed the other set to Bella with an evil grin on my face.

She rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t fooling me.   I caught the tiniest glint of that same playfulness I thought I’d witnessed the night before in the conference room.  Like it was just dying to burst out of her, but she suppressed it.

Much like a lot of other things she probably suppressed.

My eyes roamed her body again, appreciating all of those aforementioned suppressed areas.

Shame.

She ignored my ogling when she saw the Beemer symbol on her engine key.  One side of her mouth tilted upward slightly.

And actually, slightly might have been an over statement.  It was really almost un-noticeable.

Almost. 

“He always knows the quickest way to a girl’s heart,” she said, and I found myself wondering if that was the truth.  If things and money were the way to Bella Swan’s…what some might call a heart, but I personally, lovingly refer to it as, the Abyss.  

Maybe that’s why she works for Marcus. 

She certainly seemed like a woman who was used to the finer things in life, if I was basing that opinion on her attitude, personality and especially her wardrobe preferences.

Other than the khaki’s that is.  Mostly, that just screamed uppity bitch…

Okay, maybe bad ass, uppity bitch, in combination with the facial expressions.

Don’t get me wrong, she certainly didn’t seem like a prude or anything…she just didn’t seem like the type to go around puttin’ a dress on… so far anyway, and not that I couldn’t see her in a dress of some sort… I was actually quite certain she would look ridiculously incredible in the right dress, but, you know, her bad ass persona probably just didn’t allow for dresses to invade her bad assness.

It most likely had allergic reactions to dresses.

Too foo foo for our girl.

I mean Bella.

I mean Isabella…

Whatever.

“Race ya,” I teased as we found the cars parked outside waiting for us, but she didn’t even flinch…didn’t even try to hurry along to her car. I should have known she was too far above Daytona five hundred type activities. 

She was just too cooped up inside of herself for such frivolities.

And can I just clarify that when I said Hummer, I wasn’t expecting what was actually waiting for me…because it wasn’t just a Hummer that Marcus had picked out for me.  It was a goddamn Hummer HX concept car.  And it was decked… out.

 “The perks to this job never cease to amaze me,” I mused, as Bella made for her sleek, black, equally decked out BMW Z8, appreciating the outward beauty, but no doubt completely oblivious to the internal beauty it contained. 

Shaking my head at the completely waste her vehicle would go to, I threw my bags into the back of mine and jumped up into the front seat to check it all out and see what she could do.

“I think I’m gonna name you Betty,” I told her as I watched Bella slide into her Beemer. Then I pet the dashboard and revved the engine.

Oh yeah.

I wasn’t sure if Mistress Bitch a Lot was into naming cars, but I wondered what she’d name hers if she did.

Probably something like, “Ball Buster” or “Man Eater.”  Maybe Ball Busting Man Eater.

Yeah.

I laughed as we pulled out and I left her in the dust, mocking every other vehicle on the road as I made my way through the streets of Austin, cranking some angry music that I found on a local station.

I slammed the brakes on at a stop light and was tapping my hands to the beat of a hard core song against the steering wheel when I heard it, over the music.

A sleek, black BMW Z8 breezed through the stop light perpendicular to mine and skid sideways like a professional was driving, as it made the turn at…and I’m not exaggerating here…no less than eighty miles an hour.

The same sleek black BMW Z8 that Marcus had given Bella Swan.

The one I thought would go unappreciated for its five point oh litre, v8 engine capabilities.

Idiot.

Not that I could see her through the tinted windows…but it was her.  There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that it was her.  I could just imagine the smirk on her face as she passed me by…my expression frozen in shock at the way she was blowing through that intersection.

I wriggled in my seat and eyeballed the stop light, waiting anxiously for it to turn green.

“Come ON!” I screamed, and just as I did, the light turned and my foot slammed against the gas pedal, catching wheel and leaving smoke behind me as I made my mad attempt to catch Miss Thang.

Which I totally did.

After a few close calls and some seriously talented weaving and bobbing through traffic, I passed her like a jack rabbit on crack just before we entered our new gated community and gave her a little salute even as I took first place past the entry way.

The movers were already at the house when I pulled into the driveway and had to take a moment or two to myself at sheer size of the house Marcus had put us into.   I mean, that thing had to be at least thirty-five hundred square feet plus a three car garage, and I hadn’t even seen the back yard yet.

“Holy shit.”

I stepped out of Betty slowly, taking it all in. My hand lingered on the door handle a bit when I felt a much smaller hand settle on my lower back.

The sensation of goose bumps that I felt when that hand slid a little lower was unexpected and, even though part of my brain knew who it was, I still turned my head to see for myself.

Bella was smiling up at me slightly and I instinctively smiled back as she pushed up onto her tippy toes to whisper something in my ear.

Also, her chest might have made contact with mine and I might have felt my dick harden.

But only a little bit.

I turned my head a little to hear what it was she had to say, anxious for her lips to be that close to my earlobe, and yet not understanding at all what was happening to me or why I was reacting the way I was.  “We’re supposed to belong here, Edward, pick your jaw up off of the ground and follow me into the house before you give us away within the first two minutes.”

That was all she said before her hand left and then her chest…then she just walked up the path, saying a few things to the movers, never looking back.

And the ass shaking… still nice.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.  She was clearly one of those people who simply demanded your attention.  Not so much that she was looking for it…more like people just gave it to her willingly.

I shook my head as she disappeared into the house.  It wasn’t like I was inexperienced with these types of maneuvers. I’d run plenty of these scenarios for Marcus in my day just…not on this scale.

And I couldn’t help but imagine what exactly it was that Marcus wanted from this guy aside from his skills.  I couldn’t figure out why he would try so hard to get him into his back pocket when there were probably plenty of private investigators out there more than willing to play ball.

I took note of some of our neighbors as I walked up the driveway, while they got their nosy neighbor awards for taking a sneak peek at the newbs on the block.  I wondered if any of them were our guy, and, if so, had he caught my little mishap already?  And when I finally made it inside safely, I closed the door and leaned up against it.

“I call the master!” Bella screamed from somewhere, and I thought about how completely appropriate it was that she’d just assume she was head of the household.  I actually had to shake my head at her complete control freak persona.  She really needed to lighten up a little.

“Ladywhowantstosuckmydicksayswhat?!” I yelled back, and she said, “What?!”  causing me to squint my eyes shut and silently laugh at how easily she’d fallen for that old trick.

I chuckled some more. “Bitchandahalfsayswhat!?”

“WHAT?!”

My ribs hurt from the soundless laughter coming out of me and, to answer your question, yes, I’m that immature.

“You call the what?!” I yelled out, trying to stifle the tears of joy in anxious abatement for her reply.

“MASTER!”

“Coming!”  I yelled in a victorious screech, giving a good, strong fist pump into the air and she hollered back, “ASSHOLE!”

I was in  full blown laughing my ass off mode when I stopped short, choking on my own sounds all together as I noticed the new, unfamiliar small brunette standing in my…our…I mean the doorway.

She was just leaning against the door jamb like she owned the place, watching me in horror with this…really bizarre look on her face, almost scowling at me as though I’d just offended the living shit out of her in my own home.

I coughed a little, swallowing down the last of my laughter, and we kinda did this silent sizing of each other up thing for a minute or two before anyone said a word.

Why was she there anyway?

I mean, who walks into another person’s house without their permission like that?

Besides me that is.

“Can I help you?” I asked her tentatively and she finally pushed herself off of the door jamb.  “I’m Alice…I live a few doors down, I just…” she thumbed over her shoulder.  “I was stopping by to welcome you to the neighborhood, but…”

My eyebrows curled up a little, encouraging her to finish that thought.

“Is everything okay?  Here?” she asked me, and my mouth opened, but before I could get a word out, the bitch was back.

Bella that is.

And don’t think I didn’t miss the Dr. Evil type glare she shot my way as she entered the room, either.

“Hi,” she said to our neighbor, holding a hand out for her to shake and she’s definitely all… perky and smiley and now I’m scowling because suddenly, she seems… normal.  Like she’d lived here all her life.  Like she wasn’t the cock killer of Suburbia that I’d met the night before.

Alice the neighbor is still looking a little concerned, which prompts bitch face to threaten to rear its ugly head, but Bella… she overcame the desire to kick me in front of strangers, focusing her attention on making a good impression.

Her eyes darted from me… to Alice… to me, then settled on Alice, as though she had just debated ripping my head off or… scheduling a play date.

Same thing for her, probably.

“I’m Bella,” she said sickeningly sweet. 

Alice, who finally got a clue that I’m probably the wrong one to be interacting with, thrust out a hand to meet Bella’s and replied, “Alice…Alice Brandon, welcome to the neighborhood,” with a bright smile and a friendly feel.

They exchanged a few sugary words with each other and I watched them, wondering whether or not Alice Brandon was a man hater too and if they were really speaking in some hidden man hating code, saying things like, “He’s an asshole… yeah, I see that… I’m going to kill him in his sleep later…  good call,” instead of, “So nice to meet you… well thanks, we just moved here from New York… Oh, I hear New York is beautiful… It really is.”

“This is Edward, my h...husband,” Bella told her, and I almost laughed at the way the word husband didn’t quite roll of her lips.  It was nearly unnoticeable in that Alice didn’t seem to pick up on it, but I had, and I felt a slight satisfaction in knowing Bella Swan wasn’t quite as perfectly put together as she’d like us all to think she was.

I must have been staring for too long because the next thing that caught my attention was Bella…eyebrows raised, eyes wide….perhaps trying to communicate something…

But…what…

And speaking of those eyes, they were…wow…were they always brown?  ‘Cause I could have sworn they were…black…before.

More glaring…and…

Oh, shit. Right…

I turned to Alice and smiled politely at her, turning off the self proclaimed pain in Bella Swan’s tight little ass… and instead, connecting with my inner Suburbanite, New York, Software Developer charm. “Hello, Alice.”

 Suburbanite!  That’s it!

“You’ll have to excuse my attire… we’re just getting settled in,” I said to her with a slight smirk, happy I’d finally figured that word out.

Alice’s eyebrow inched up and her eyes locked on mine as her hand reached out in front of her.  I took her hand and shook it softly, yet not too soft.  Women hate that.  She swallowed. “I… um…”

“Was there something we can do for you?” I asked, letting go of her hand as I slid up next to the mother of all nightmares that would be otherwise known as my wife for the time being.  She tried slinking a little further away, but I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, holding her flat up against my side, firmly, enjoying the shit out of making her uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Alice was back in the land of the living.  “Well, I’m the Homeowner’s Association President, and I noticed the two of you pull up… wanted to drop by and officially welcome you to the neighborhood.”

What was she, a girl scout?

Her smile was ridiculously bright and if she’d only barely known us, I could have sworn she might actually be bouncing on the spot she stood.  I peeked down and noticed Bella’s scowl threatening to pop in and say hello, so I diverted Alice’s attention.

“It’s very nice to meet you Alice.  I’m sure we’ll all be great acquaintances… thanks for coming by,” I told her, attempting to shoo her out the door as I spoke.  I also planned to lock it this time.

“Oh, wait! I almost forgot,” she said, stopping the both of us in our tracks.  She turned to me again to tell us, “We’ve been really looking forward to meeting you, so…”

“We?”

“Yeah, you know… the neighborhood, silly…” she laughed, making this gesture to insinuate I should have known that. 

“Oh,” I said. “Right.”

“Anyway,” she giggled, “We’re throwing you a cookout… you know, to welcome you properly… let you get to know all of us a little…”

Bella attempted to be polite.  “We’re really…”

“When exactly is this cookout?” I asked Alice, cutting Lady Looks Could Kill off entirely.

“Tomorrow afternoon, five o’clock, we’ll see you there, then?”

“Oh, I don’t think that…” Bella started again, but I interrupted her.   Again. 

“We’ll be there,” I told Alice, smiling away. She beamed at the two of us, standing side by side like we were the Cleavers or something, and then finally she was gone. 

Or so I thought.

Just as I was about to close the door she yelled back, walking backwards, pointing at me.  “My house… I’m two doors down!  Five o’clock!” 

I waved, smiling one cheesy ass smile. “Kay!”

I closed the door and set the dead bolt, letting out a sigh of relief as I stretched my jaw out a little.  I don’t think I’d smiled quite that much in… well… a long damn time. Then I heard Medusa from behind me.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Excuse me?”  I asked her, spinning around with a confused look on my face.

Ah, shit, I’d contracted her bitchiness.

“Why would you tell her we’d be there?”  She threw a hands up into the air. “Now we have to go.”

“What’s… wrong with going exactly, your highness?  Don’t we need to find this Jasper guy?  It’s the perfect cover for scoping him out… he’ll probably be there…”

“Has it been so long for you that you forgot Marcus’s first law of the land?  Don’t… bring… attention… to yourself.”

I hadn’t forgotten it as a matter of fact, but this job was a little different from previous ones.

“Come on Brittany… live on the edge a little.”

She stood her ground.

Not that I’d expected any less of her.

“How would like to live on the edge of my reinforced steel combat knife?” she retorted in direct response to my latest name for her.

Twitch.

When I hesitated, she took that as a weakness and added, “It’s settled then, we’re not going.”

“You’re wrong about this.”

She took a menacing step closer to me. “No…. you’re wrong.”

Double twitch.

I was getting highly agitated that her anger was turning me on and, to tell you the truth, it had crossed my mind that she was in desperate need of a spanking… which also turned me on.  Lucky for me, I knew how to stand my ground too, despite her wily ways.  “You’re over reacting here…”

She pulled her cell phone out in a very, I’ll show YOU kinda way.  “Why don’t we let Marcus decide then,” she said and I let my brow knit together out of sheer resentment for her words.

“You always ask Marcus’s permission before you do something… oh, I don’t know…” I waved my hands in the air and made let my eyes widen for her. “Crazy?”

The stare off of the century was about to begin when I let out a frustrated huff.  “Tell ya what,” I suggested, pulling a few coins out of my pocket ‘til I found the one I was looking for.  “Heads we go… tails we skip it.”

She licked her lips, then bit down on the bottom one thinking about it, and I swear to God… if my fucking dick twitched one more time I was gonna have to come up with an excuse to go have some quality alone time in the bathroom.

One of the four bathrooms, that is.

Maybe all of them.

“Fine,” she finally conceded, and I smiled at the possibility that maybe… just maybe there was a little bit of a rebel buried deep down inside that icy exterior after all.

“You sure about this?” I teased. “I mean, this is a big step for you… going outside your comfort zone and all…” 

And I know… pushing my luck, but something about her just made me all gangsta with an attitude.

“Just… flip… the coin,” she demanded, shutting her eyes and balling her hands into fists, and I figured I better get a move on before she changed her mind. 

 I tossed the piece of silver into the air, caught it, and slapped it onto my forearm, keeping it covered at first as I stared her down like a pro. 

It’s all about the eye contact.

When I pulled my hand away, her eyes slowly dropped to see the head of old George Washington and the disappointment that showed in the slumping of her shoulders?

Priceless.

“Guess we’re going to a cook out,” I announced, sliding the two-headed quarter back into my pocket.

“Fine,” she said through gritted teeth, and it hadn’t escaped me that that was the second time she’d resorted to a short but not so sweet one word answer to getting pwned.  

“Fine,” I mimicked her and she sneered at me.  And, for the first time since her threat earlier, I could actually envision living on the edge of that blade she’d referred to.   So, in an honest effort to lighten the mood a little, I clapped my hands together and asked her, “So, how ‘bout we go… consummate this marriage in the back of the moving van.”

It didn’t exactly go over well. 

She might have mentioned Hell freezing over and something about preferring an ice pick to her head as she stormed off, I don’t know, who was really paying attention?

“Another time then!”  I told her playfully, heading off my own way to go pick a room to sleep in that was as far away from the master as possible.    One that had a good strong lock on it from the inside.

That was when I checked my watch and noticed it was only ten AM, thinking… Damn… This is gonna be one long… ass… exasperating… attempting to avoid any and all sexual innuendos with the Polar Princess while trying to stay on top of my game… job.